Ben attended his Sunday school yesterday and as usual, we arrived early and let Ben played around while waiting for other parents to arrive with their toddlers. We saw 2 ride-on horses in the classroom, glanced at the white board and suspected the day's story will be "Noah's Ark". Saw some presentation boards and toys that goes along with the story.
Ben proceeded to take the story books, one by one to the table where we were seated at and he was almost on his way to clear off the middle bookcase section when the teacher approached hubby and I suggesting one of us attending the church service (at the main hall, the toddler's Sunday classes are categorized by different age groups and are located in a separate building block)
Darn it... I have always been dreading the day when Ben will have to attend school by himself without mummy and daddy watching over him. I worried that he will have separation anxiety if we're no longer around when he goes to school next time.
I glanced at hubby, looking for his eye signals or some sort of body language whether one of us should leave the Sunday class and attend the church service. Hubby said he's OK with either one of us leaving.
Teacher looks at me and said "Daddy should give mummy a time off from Ben and let mummy attends the church service!", smiling as she said it.
Darn it, darn it. I feel trapped. I kept quiet.
Teacher continued "Go ahead, leave your boy with your hubby and enjoy the short break. Don't think it will be a long sermon today cos there are some presentations going on".
I feel torn apart... Should I go? Should I stay? I stared at hubby... He's already in his own world with Ben, playing with toys. Bahhhh.... men... Sigh... fine... I'll try this time and see how it goes. Told hubby my bag is at the back of the class, all the stuff (water bottles, wet tissues, hanky etc) are inside and left the room with the heaviest heart ever...
(Photo taken from Google image search)
With every steps taken as I walked away from the classroom and leaving the toddler's building block and heading towards the main hall, I was starting to get worried.
"Is Ben crying now?", "Will hubby be able to handle Ben when he fusses?", "Does hubby knows the hankerchiefs are at the bottom of my bag?"... All sorts of worries and concerns played in my head. I reached the main hall of the church and joined my MIL in the baby room (She prefers to sit in this encased room cos it's not so cold and I think maybe she likes looking at other children)
I immediately set my mobile alarm to alert me in half hour time so I could go and check on Ben's progress. Few minutes before the alarm rang, I told MIL I'm going back to check on my 2 men. When I reached the class, I saw the parents and their child are queueing up to wash hands, getting ready for snacks before the art session. Saw hubby putting Ben on the floor to let him walk back to the class after he washed his hands. I called out to Ben and he walked quickly towards me.
Ahhhhh... My heart tears a little. My little man still recognises his mummy! Then Ben asked to be carried, I obliged. I mean, hello...it's been 30 minutes since I last seen and touch my baby! Give me a break!
Then all the kids went back and got ready for their snacks and I had to pass back Ben to hubby. Ben started fussing and crying as I made my quiet exit. Poor boy, mummy feels so sad. Bwaaaaaaa... Hating the teacher for separating us. Walked back to the main hall and sat next to MIL anxiously. Made a note to myself to check Ben again when it's near the end of his art session, which should be around 20 minutes or so.
After 20 minutes, I told MIL I'm going back to check on Ben. Walked faster and imagining my boy should be finishing his class now. Wondered what artwork he did today and whether he cried much when I left earlier. Was climbing up the stairs and I peeped through the door (there's a small glass window at the main door) and saw them still doing their artwork. Arghhhhhh!! Why does the time seem to pass by so slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Decided not to go up further in case Ben saw me. Walked down few steps and then decided, I gotta snap a picture of my boy no matter what! I missed him so much! It's almost 1 hour already! So I climbed up a few steps and zoomed in with my digital camera and snap this picture:
Call me pathetic or weirdo mummy for secretly snooping around taking picture like this but... sob, sob, just look at my little man sitting there with his daddy... without mummy... Anyway, when the class ended, I waited outside and Ben showed me the origami boat with some glued pre-printed paper animals in it and I immediately carried him. I missed my boy!
Bwaaaaaaaaa....
How am I going to deal with really separating from Ben when he goes to school next time?
I thought separation anxiety is only for the kids?
