I'm a full-time mummy

Life goes on dear Malaysians...

Sure, I woke up at 1am+ on 6th May 2013, and upon reading the barrage of comments and posts on Facebook about how the opposition parties lost in the 13th General Election of Malaysia, I felt like a big chunk of my heart has just been ripped out.

I can almost equate the emptiness and hollow feeling of my heart to the time when I realised back in early 2007, for the first time as I stood alone in my government flat I called house for 2 decades of my life, I have no more father and mother. I am like an orphan.

And I'm feeling almost the same as I read through how ballot boxes magically appeared after an eletricity blackout at some ballot counting centers, how vehicles bearing ballot boxes can still drive in and said they lost their way and are delivering the remaining ballot boxes to be counted (when the results has been counted for and unofficially announced) and more.

I felt like my beloved country has just died.

I'm sad throughout the whole half day of 6th May 2013. Sad not because democracy in Malaysia is dead. I'm not sad because the opposition parties have lost.

I'm just sad at the way we lost.

And sad how the racism card is still being used to stir up Malaysians.

Anyway, life really does go on.

Whether we like it or not, the results have been announced.

I just want to say we as citizens of Malaysia should be proud of what we did.

Even a miniscule of contribution in each and every one of us really did make a difference.

I'm actually happy to know some of my Muslim friends are sharing the same sentiments like myself.

I'm happy to know they too don't agree that religion is used to scare other races.

I'm happy to know many of the people in my Facebook network are frustrated and desire for change in the country.

Don't ever doubt that and don't ever lose hope.

Stop getting angry and move on with your life. Really... When you are calm and at peace, you are able to think more logically.

Of course, change does not come so fast.

Trust in God's timing.

And His will for our beloved country to be done according to His time and His ways.

Stay strong and stay united.

Push on dear Malaysians...

On this coming 5th of May, all Malaysians who have registered as voters will fulfill their responsibilities in the 13th General Election of Malaysia. I have personally voted once many many years ago and to be honest, being in my early 20s then, I do not care much of the impact of my vote then and simply just crossed out the political party that was serving my area that time.

But this round, every single vote count. I am definitely in no position to say out or even influence anybody which political party to vote for and what is right and wrong with so and so political parties in Malaysia.

All I know as a stay-at-home mum now is, I'm voting for the future of my children.

I want them to have a fair chance to further their studies in the land where they were born.

I want them to have a fair chance to apply for scholarships, universities, jobs and so on.

I don't want to raise my children here only to have them being forced to look for greener pastures in other countries which provides equal opportunities to everyone.

I love Malaysia and I would love to see this country flourish.

I would love to see everyone work hand in hand to make this country better.

Just fairness in all matters if possible.

Well, that's one mighty big wish you might say.

So again I repeat, I am definitely in no position to say out or even influence anybody which political party to vote for and what is right and wrong with so and so political parties in Malaysia.

I am just praying for a fair and just election this time.

I am praying for God's hands to be upon every step of the election process!

* Proverbs 20:10 (NIV) ~ Differing weights and differing measures — the Lord detests them both.

* Proverbs 22:22-23 (NIV) ~ Do not exploit the poor because they are poor and do not crush the needy in court, for the Lord will take up their case and will exact life for life.

* Deuteronomy 16:20 (NIV) ~ Follow justice and justice alone, so that you may live and possess the land the Lord your God is giving you.

Today is 23rd April 2013... 7 years has gone since my dad passed away.

7 years ago, I get to hear with my own ears from dad, that Jesus is good. I get to hear this from a devout Buddhist, a good man who takes care of his family, a good father who makes sure that his wife and children (a son and a daughter) have everything they need in their lives.

I've been trying to tell dad about Jesus weeks before he passed away. One time, when he was ordered to stay in the hospital for a night, I told dad (after mum and my elder brother walked away) to pray to God if there is 'anything' disturbing him at night.

Being a Chinese, we folks tend to believe in ghosts and stuff, but since I became a Christian, I am not afraid of such evil spirits and I still remember telling dad clearly "Dad, if at night when you're sleeping and there is 'things' disturbing you, pray to your God. If your God can't help you, please try to call on Jesus name. Just try this as a last resort, OK?"

The next morning, when dad is back home, I heard my brother asking him whether there is any 'thing' disturbing him at night, to which my dad just brushed him off by saying no. After my brother left (he stayed at another place with his family), I went and asked my dad the same question.

Me: Pa, did anything disturb you at night yesterday?

Dad: Yes, you know my legs not straight because of the gout, so at night I was sleeping, felt something trying to pull my legs straight.

Me: Maybe the nurse doing that?

Dad: No. Couldn't be cos' the thing keep pulling even though I said "please stop pulling, my legs hurt".

Me: Then did you pray to your God?

Dad: I did.

Me: Did it help?

Dad: No. The thing still pulling my legs.

Me: Then did you call on Jesus name?

Dad: Yes. I said in my head 'Jesus, please help me. My legs hurt'.

(Praise God I'm hearing this, but trying to keep my excitement down)

Me: Then what happened?

Dad: Then that thing stopped pulling. I continued my sleep in peace.

Me: Wah! See, isn't it good?

Dad: Actually Jesus is good.
(Amen to that!)

You know, because of what my dad said "Actually Jesus is good" that I believed.

I believed my dad has put his faith in Him.
I believed when my dad passed away, he is up in heaven with Him.
I believed my dad is in a better place now, and no longer suffering.

I'm glad I'm able to kiss your forehead and tell you 'I love you' every time I wiped your head, face and body when you were bedridden.
I'm glad I'm able to tell you some of the bible stories (children version for easier understanding).
I'm glad I'm able to accompany you at night (even though it means I'm sleeping on the floor next to dad's bed)
I'm glad I'm around when you left us.
I'm glad God heard my prayers that everything be done according to His will, that you leave in peace and no longer need to endure any sufferings.

Dad, even though it has been 7 years now, I still reminisce the time we spent together. I wished I could do more things with and for you while you are still alive. I will always cherished and treasure our moments together. Take care of mum, and I hope to see you guys one day in heaven. Thank you dad for everything. Amen...

** John 1:12 (NIV) Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name,
he gave the right to become children of God