I'm a full-time mummy

When I first got pregnant in late 2010, I panicked because my 2 years old boy was still nursing up to 4-5 times a day and ALWAYS before nap and bedtime. People around me keep telling me to quickly wean him off, else when he goes to nursery/daycare, he will have trouble then since he's used to my breasts. I also get people telling me that my breastmilk will be poisonous when I'm pregnant (old folks myth) so I actually started with reducing his nursing to before nap and bedtime.

What I did was, I replace the other feeding sessions with play and activities. We spend some time in the playroom, let him do some drawing or doodling, play his Lego, watch TV or iPad, anything to distract him from asking for his nen-nen (aka his breastmilk).

But honestly to tell you the truth, the only time I can rest during my tiring phase of pregnancy is when my boy nursed. I love that I can just lie down on bed with my bulging belly and let my boy suckle. I get my rest, he gets to nurse and comfort himself and we get to bond. Win-win situation, no?

I did however managed to cut down our feeding sessions to before afternoon naptime and bedtime but yes, I do occasionally let him nurse when he is fussy or having discomfort. I'm practising what we call the, 'Don't offer, don't refuse' method. You don't offer your child your breasts if he/she does not ask for it but you don't refuse him/her if he/she does ask for it.

In September 2011 when my girl came along, I had tandem nursing aversion for 1 month. I hated my boy so much when I got home from hospital with my baby girl. The moment my boy asked for his feed, I got so angry. Poor boy doesn't know why mummy is like that. Finally acknowledge I got problems in my head and tell my hubby and I even blogged about it. I felt a big relief after that cos it's all in my head and when my 2nd child is 1 month old, I got over the tandem nursing aversion and continued feeding both my kiddos. My boy, always before afternoon naptime and bedtime. My girl, on demand whenever she wants.

Slowly my boy will forget to ask for his feed when he sees me and my girl constantly nursing (I feed on demand) and sometimes when he asked for it, I will let him nurse. The last I asked him to suckle, he forgot how to do it. He was 45 mths old then ...

Now what I would suggest you to do if you are in the same situation, as in, you want to wean your child...

• I'd go for gentle weaning if possible. Gentle as in, letting your child lead his/her way.
  

• NEVER decide to wean when you are not in a happy mood. You might regret this decision later.
  

• Go Google more on the 'Don't offer, don't refuse' method. I personally feel this method is more peaceful and gentle.

• Slowly replace nursing time with other bonding activities to keep your child's mind off asking for feeds

• Get your partner to accompany your child before bedtime.

• You can do a count if you have to nurse your older child to sleep, probably count to 20 then tell him/her it's time to sleep.

• I also patted my boy's back and gently rubbed his back to sleep, until today he needs one of my hand to be on his body/face - something like a comfort pillow for him to sleep.
  

I breastfed my boy throughout my 2nd pregnancy, tandem him with my newborn girl for 1 year+ and finally weaned him at 45 mths old. Maybe a tad too long for some people but I believe in letting my child lead his way. I am currently preggy with our 3rd child and is still nursing my now 1.5 year old girl and doing the same method. I'll let my child decides when they are ready to stop.

I have a beautiful breastfeeding journey with my 4 years old Benjamin and would never trade anything for it. I hope to repeat the same thing with my 1.5 years old Alyson now and continue on tandem nursing her and our 3rd child later if possible.

Here's wishing you all the best in your decision making and I hope you will have a memorable breastfeeding journey that you can treasure with your child for a long long long time!

I came across this bible verse and it reminded me back the time I was deciding whether I should quit my IT job of 9 years in order to be a stay-at-home mother for my child (then about 2 months old). We were having trouble looking for a babysitter for him (one that can take care of him while I work from 9am to 6pm) and were pondering what other options we could have in order for our baby to be cared for properly.

Can't rely much on my MIL as she has (and still does) sleeping problems... she goes to bed at 7-8am and woke up at 12-2pm. By which time I'm already out at work and definitely can't leave my boy at home for her to care for.

And so we prayed to God, and decided to let Him decide. His will, His bill. At that time, we are relying on my hubby's IT business and of course I'm comfortable earning my own salary. To cut things short, decision was made, I quit and became a SAHM since then.

We were lucky to be staying with MIL (her house but hubby paid all the bills and groceries) and we have a car, a second-hand 11 years old car which hubby bought for very cheap price and it's all paid up, so not much commitment on our sides other than we must be frugal and think lots of times before deciding to spend any of our money. No overseas holidays until kiddos are old enough to appreciate and remember, even for family outing, we do it like once or twice a year locally and get the affordable holiday package and simply just budget and save.

Matthew 6:25 (NIV) “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?

Matthew 6:27 (NIV) Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

Matthew 6:32 (NIV) For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

To be honest, today, hubby's business is really picking up and we are looking for resource to help him in his company and kiddos wise, 2 now, with 3rd one on the way in September this year.

And a few weeks back, I checked back my personal bank accounts, the savings there is almost the same as what I had when I quit my job. Meaning, God provides enough for us to sustain through the years. God is good!

You know how disgusting it is to have an individual of the same gender as you saying, suggesting, agreeing and even acknowledging something said about you when they have no idea or never even bother to hear or understand or find out your side of story?

You would think that the person, being a woman, married with husband and kids would understand your point of view, or at least, try to emphatise what you go through... but sadly, that's not the case. I don't want to elaborate further as I think the person reads my blog too but I really do hope she will get the meaning of this post which I meant to direct to her.

James 4:11 (NIV) ~ Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister[a] or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.

So, you... Unless you have ever lived a day of your life as a stay-at-home-mum, never have anymore income, never have to take care of your children 24/7/365 YOURSELF and understand how energy sapping it is, do not open your mouth to even say that I am living my life easy.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) ~ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Leave me and my family alone and focus on yours.