I'm a full-time mummy

I saw an FB status by a primary school friend saying his wife is expecting and shared with him some of the tips and experiences I had during my 2 kiddos time and thought I might as well blog this down. So here you go, my advice and tips on what to prepare when you are expecting:

* Stop taking your over the counter multivitamins (if you have been taking them prior to pregnancy)

Why? For example, too much vitamin A can be toxic and can damage the developing foetus if you're pregnant. And over the counter multivitamins contains vitamin A that is too high for pregnant ladies. This is what we've been told by our 2nd gynae when I was pregnant with Benjamin back in 2008. IMHO, just taking folic acid and obimin is sufficient already.

Also, please do not consume pregnancy milk. If you have to gain weight, you can take normal UHT milk moderately but please refrain from consuming commercial pregnancy milk which claims to boost/provide healthy progress/development for your baby or yourself. There is very high sugar content in those milk and an acquaintance of ours took these milk and gained too much weight and having pregnancy diabetes now, on top of high blood pressure. So please do not take these milk!

Also read: http://www.tipsonhealthyliving.com/health-and-wellness/is-your-prenatal-multivitamin-falling-short

* Seek another gynae's opinion if you do not feel comfortable with their consultation

The reason why I mentioned this is not for you to gynae-hop. You see, back when we first found out I was pregnant with Ben, we went to this hospital for check-up and was told that Ben is a bit too small size for my estimated pregnancy duration. I was given some hormone pills to take orally and because of that, I had side effects everytime I took those pills. I will feel nauseous and my head will be spinning around for some time.

About 1 week into taking the pills, we went for another gynae and was told that the hormone pill is not necessary. I had vaginal ultrasound scan and we found out Ben's size is normal due to my irregular period cycle, I cannot expect Ben to be the size based on my last period date. The scan via vaginal gave a better accuracy results as we can see Ben clearly instead of ultrascan on the tummy.

As for the hormone pill, our 2nd gynae told us it is better to take it vaginally as the effects will be better absorbed by foetus due to the distance and to be honest, if the pill is taken orally, it gets digested, went through stomach and everything, by the time it reached foetus, only about 25% of the effects are left to be absorbed... which is a waste. I stopped taking the hormone pills after that and yes, we stopped seeing the 1st gynae in that hospital too.

* Try to stick to the same gynae where you will be delivering your child

For the sake of keeping track of your pregnancy progress and updates, do try to stick to the same gynae where you will be delivering your child. This is so that you developed a relationship with the gynae and they can monitor and (hopefully!) remembers your pregnancy progress. Of course this might not be easy if you are checking up at public hospital where the doctors go on rosters everytime.

* Decide (if you have not already done so) whether to go for natural birth or C-sect

I am all for natural birth if you asked me. To be able to feel the pain of labors and the moment when your baby shot out of your ehem vagina... that's always an unforgetable memories. No matter how painful the contractions were, I always remembered the feelings when my babies shot out of my body. Of course, that said, there are cases where pregnant mums are not able to give birth naturally due to baby or mum's health conditions, but if everything is fine and dandy, do try to go for natural birth!

* Decide (if you have not already done so) whether to breastfeed or not

Again, I am all for breastfeeding if you asked me. If I am not pro breastfeeding, I would not have breastfed my 1st child past 1 year, 2 years, throughout my 2nd pregnancy, 3 years, tandem nursed both kiddos and finally he weaned himself at 45 months old while my 2nd child is continuing on breastfeeding at 1.5 years old now. Go Google around and find out what's in your breastmilk and why people do this and why formula milk can never ever fight and substitute the contents in breastmilk no matter how hard formula companies tried to research and replicate it.

These are some of the initial preparations that I advised you to do ASAP (of course more along the way as you progressed on with your pregnancy). Feel free to share your tips!

Just found out you are expecting? Happy? Elated? Worried? Concerned? Might be the later reasons if you are still breastfeeding. At least that's what I felt when I found out I was expecting our 2nd child (Alyson) and I was still breastfeeding our first, Benjamin (he was at 20months+ then)

I was so concerned with the following:

- What if my breastmilk stops producing (trust me, it will due to hormones in pregnancy!) and my boy is still not weaned yet? How to substitute my breastmilk then?

- What if the breastfeeding causes contractions and early labors or increases the risks of miscarriages?

- What if the breastmilk is poisonous? (old wives tales)

- How to cope with breastfeeding and tummy getting bigger and me getting more and more tired?

Before you read on, do note that I am not able to advise you on how to substitute breastfeeding with formula milk as until today we are still at zero specks of formula powder at home. So, I apologise first as I really am not able to comment on anything with regards to formula milk.

Now back to whether you should continue breastfeeding during your pregnancy...

If there are no risks or complications in your previous pregnancy, I personally think there are no reasons why you should wean. I nursed through my boy until I delivered my girl in Sept 2011 and continued tandem nursing them until I weaned my boy at 45 months old. From early April 2016, I have gently weaned off our 2nd kiddo (who is 4.5 years old now) but I am still breastfeeding our 3rd kiddo who is 2.5 years old now.

I have no complications or risks history when I was pregnant with our 3 kiddos so that makes it a plus factor in my decision making to continue breastfeeding during my pregnancies. I also believed that I should not wean just because the baby is coming especially when my previous pregnancies are fine.

If you are worried about the risks of miscarriages caused by breastfeeding as some people believe nursing will trigger contractions... well, if you read up on Google, you will find out that even having sex during pregnancy will also cause contractions.

The questions you must ask yourself are:

1. Do you have risks/complications during previous pregnancy? Such as problems with your uterus or anything that can cause early labors

2. Is your baby ready to wean?

3. Are you ready to wean?

4. If either answers for question 2 or 3 is a 'yes', you need to think of supplementing your baby NOW or switching her to alternative milks and/or solids (depending on your child's age okay?) You better express and store now and/or try out formula milk before your breastmilk runs out at your 4th - 5th month of pregnancy

Now, do note that if you decide to continue nursing:

- your breastmilk will change taste during pregnancy (mine tasted sour and bitter when I tasted it at 4th mth into pregnancy)

- your breastmilk will stop midway through pregnancy (mine stopped at 5th month but our first 2 kiddos continued nursing until I delivered)

- there are some nurslings who self-wean because of the above 2 reasons, so do have a backup plan (or backup expressed breastmilk) if your nurslings are still very much into your breastmilk

- you will be very tired during pregnancy, for me, I normally lie down on my bed to rest and let our kiddos nursed (well they get to nurse and bond and comfort and I get to rest too)

- some mums will have nursing aversion (I only have mine when I started tandem nursing) so do research more and read up on what to do if this happens

- some will also worried that nursing the older child during pregnancy that they will take away the colostrum intended for coming baby. Answer is no, your body is not robot. Nature's way, your body will know if something is taken, it will be replenished. Just the same logic that when you breastfeed, your body will send signals to produce more milk. So don't worry that there is no colostrum when new baby comes along.

If you feel you should wean, I would suggest that you do it gently as you don't want your child to feel that she/he is being rejected or pushed aside to make way for the coming baby. Try to slowly replace nursing times with other bonding activities (reading books, doodling, drawing, play dough, anything to keep their mind off from nursing). The key is to keep them distracted from asking for their feed.

I did reduced my 4-5 times daily nursing Benjamin to nursing prior to afternoon nap and bedtime (total twice a day and maybe 1-2 times during sleep when he's fussy or sick) I also practised the 'Don't offer, don't refuse' method of weaning (will write a post on this later)

I am very happy I get to nurse our kiddos throughout my pregnancies as I personally believed in letting my child decides when they should stop nursing (which our 1st kiddo did at 45 months old) and I believed that it really helps to kick in the breastmilk production as my milk came in right after I delivered our girls and they have no time to experience any weight loss (due to meconium) thanks to the immediate supply of breastmilk.

** Updates 18 May 2015 - As of today, I have tandem nursed our 1st and 2nd child for almost 4 years (45 mths to be exact)

** Updates 4 April 2016 - As of today, I have tandem nursed our 2nd and 3rd kiddos for 2.5 years. I've gently weaned our 2nd kiddo (she's 4.5 years old now) and is still directly nursing on demand our 3rd kiddo who is 2.5 years old now (I'm also pregnant with our 4th kiddo now!) so I do know what I'm talking about ;)

Feel free to comment or email me if you need to, I can share with you my experiences and what I needed during my pregnancy while still breastfeeding.

I'm a Christian (baptised since 2005) and although I think there are spirits, I don't think we should be scared of them as our God is more powerful than anything. I do believe in heaven and hell and that after we passed away, it's either heaven or hell.

Chinese people have a belief that after someone passed away, within the first 49 days, they will dream of their loved ones (the one who passed away) and some even reported that by the 49th day, the spirit will come back home for the last time before they moved on.

When my dad passed away in April 2006, I dreamt of him in the first week after he passed away. He was resting on his bed in our old flat, he looked so at peace and he wore all white. So white that it was shining bright. And yet, I could see his legs all straight and in good condition. You see, my dad had gout for decades and because of that, his legs are crooked and his knuckles are swollen in certain places as well. But in my dream, he looked perfect and was in his prime age (around 40-ish). I was so happy to see him in that condition.

When my mum passed away in January 2007, my first dream of her was quite disturbing and I woke up crying for her. In that dream, my mum was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees together and just crying and rocking her body to and fro. I also saw her brothers and sisters (my uncles and aunts - all still alive now) in the dream but it was just my mum in the dream, moving and crying because the chair she sat on broke, her siblings ignored her and I woke up feeling sorry for her.

The next dream I had of her (still within the 49 days), she was sitting in this white colored luxurious car (sorry don't know brand, I only remember it was long and looks like a convertible which is a rare sight in Malaysia). So anyway, I was just staring at my mum in the car, and she was waving her right hand, smiling so happily as if she's going to a better place (which I chose to believe she is).

Now, why I'm mentioning this in my post today is because I was having a conversation with hubby and his sister few days back and I mentioned to them about my dream when their dad (aka my FIL) passed away in Dec 2003. I was still dating my hubby then and I stayed overnight at hubby's house the day his dad passed away to help out with the funeral arrangements the day after.

In my dream, hubby's dad told me something and I've so far only casually mentioned this once to one of his family members. But the recent case where I mentioned this to hubby and his sister, I learned that the same message I was told by his dad in my dream was what his dad said when he was dying. I only got to hubby's place a few hours after his dad passed away so I absolutely had no idea what his dad said before he passed away and to be honest, hubby only mentioned this few days ago.

I was shocked to hear that... as it is so eerily creepy to find out what I dreamed of is what he heard in reality.

So back to my topic today... dream after death... is it the truth or mind tricks? I chose to believe it's the truth...