The Beauty of Co-Sleeping...

~ Posted on Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 1:12 AM ~

Ben co-sleeps with hubby and myself - even today, at 17 months plus...

(it's so convenient cos' I'm still breastfeeding Ben anyway!)

I'm a full-time mummy

Picture above of Ben (4 days old) sleeping next to his tired mummy...

We initially placed him in the baby crib but he nursed almost every 1-2 hours during the first week and I got real tired having to wake up, bend over, carried Ben out, nursed him, then put him back to the crib, and try to sleep again. You see, I'm a light sleeper so any slight sound or movement will make me awake...

One time when I was really really tired, I carried Ben out during one of his nursing time, lie on my side, placed Ben next to me and continue sleeping and he just nursed on. After that time, I repeated it again, and Ben continued nursing while he's asleep (I found out much later that it's called dream feeding) and so, the story of how we all ended up sleeping on the same bed begins...

Seeing this comic brings me smiles cos this is how it is when we all co-sleep at night... Of course, most of the time hubby ended up sleeping on the single bed which is right next to our King sized bed,all thanks to Benjamin who conquered most of the bed space!


Now, during the day time when Ben takes his nap, his sleeping styles are also a fun thing to watch!

Hahahah... Enjoy!

I'm a full-time mummy

I'm a full-time mummy

I'm a full-time mummy

I'm a full-time mummy

I'm a full-time mummy

Life is 10% What Happens To You and 90% How You Respond To It!

~ Posted on Thursday, August 12, 2010 at 10:00 AM ~

Sometime I think back on the moment I decided "Enough is enough. I am going to quit my job and be a SAHM".

Had I responded and reacted differently, maybe I wouldn't be a SAHM today.

You see, over 1 year ago, I was in the midst of negotiating with my former supervisor on the possibilities of my previous company hiring me as a freelance consultant (they were in the midst of migrating over to a new application system). Lots of hurdles and issues were raised because of this, such as:

* that I am setting precedent to the company if I'm being hired as a freelance staff

* that I will not be committed to my work anymore since I'm quitting my job in order to take care of my baby

* that I will not be able to drop everything at home and rush to office to attend meetings, discussions and so on

* that it is hard for the company to monitor my deliverables as I can work from home if there is no meetings or discussions to attend at office

* that it is risky for the company to allow me to remote login to the company's server to do my work from home

All the above are just some of the excuses mentioned in order to stop the discussions from getting further. I know myseld and my previous supervisor really wanted to make it work (she really needs my expertise in the legacy system and liaising with the users and vendors on the new system) but her manager does not. Maybe because the manager feels threatened that if this freelance idea works, it's like the company is bowing down to my wishes and that I'm being manipulative.

I do not have any other motives other than to still be able to help my previous company (as much as I can), earn a lot less (but still be able to contribute and work) but of course, all this will be within my limits now that I have a new priority in life (that is taking care of Ben!) but somehow, there are people who tends to think bad of this.

There was actually an agreement being drafted out and it's already in the final stage of being agreed by all parties (the company and myself) before we can go official with the freelancing idea. I raised up some clauses in the agreement which was not favorable to me and because of this, my supervisor's manager actually got angrier and more agitated (I think this made the manager more determined to find ways to stop the freelancing idea from being materialised). You see, how can I agree to a freelance contract which stated:

* that I have to disclose the details of other clients I'm working with (that is in the event that I do freelance for other companies). I mean, wouldn't that be a breach of information to my other clients (if any)?

* lots of different tiers of fees calculations for the hours I put into work (if you read the contract it makes you feel sad that a company you have worked with for almost 5 years can be so calculative to you. I didn't even think of this at all as I was already working more than my expected hours when I was a permanent staff but why raised this concern now?)

* that the company is not responsible if I have any accidents, injuries or died at the premise... again, I didn't even think of this at all but since it's being stated out, it made me feel that the company is so cold blooded and not caring towards its employee (be it permanent or freelance)

Anyway, I have actually thought of just disregarding the above and not be so calculative over the details, after all, I worked with the company for almost 5 years and I really enjoyed working there and made lots of good friends but the incident that tip me over to my decision to quit is finding out the manager backstabbed me in front of the CEO. It's really sickening to find out someone could and would go to that distance in order to get rid of you and make the freelance idea not feasible.

The moment I found out about this, I wrote an email to my supervisor and the CEO telling them I'm pulling out from the negotiation and am not going to proceed further with the freelance idea. I did not mention about knowing I've been backstabbed.

Now, I sometimes think had I responded in other ways to this maybe things would work out differently?

What if I mentioned about being backstabbed? Will the CEO takes the matter with the manager and reprimand the manager?  Or what if I decided to confront the manager and demanded an apology?

But I thought, God knows the person I am to the company. God knows how committed I am and how I wanted and tried to make it work. If I have been the sort of person that the manager slanders me of, I wouldn't have work in the company for almost 5 years (long if you are in IT line), my users and vendors wouldn't be so sad to see me quitting and leaving the company for good (or even to date, still asking for my help and advice every now and then).

Maybe you may think the act of me keeping quiet even though I know I've been backstabbed and slandered is coward. But what good does it make if I seek revenge and see that the manager gets punished for slandering me? Read: Romans 12:19 (NIV), 1 Peter 3:16 (NIV)

Had the freelance idea materialised and I continued working freelance in the company, I don't think I will have an easy time there. Obviously that would make the manager more envious (that I get to work freelance) and more determined to get rid of me. So, why stay on and try to pursue something which someone tries so hard to stop it from being materialised? Read: James 3:16 (NIV)

Maybe things happened for a reason. Yes, it is a bad and sad memory for me for that incident to happen. But I guessed, I'm thankful I responded to this situation the way I did. Read: 1 Peter 2:15 (NIV), Romans 12:2 (NIV), 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

This post is written as part of this week's Writer's Workshop.

Common Myths about SAHM

~ Posted on Tuesday, August 10, 2010 at 12:09 AM ~

I was inspired to blog about the common myths (or perceptions) about SAHM after writing my post on "Footprints in the Sand" where I mentioned "one common perception by others is people think we became SAHM because we are rich and comfortable even with 1 less income to the family!"

So anyway, surfed around the Net and found more myths about us strange species of SAHM which stated that we are (myths in red, my feedback in blue)...

* Uneducated

My feedback: I may have only 1 year of Diploma in NCC (or what we called IT), but I have 9 years of working experience in IT line and as far as I know, before I quit my job to be a SAHM, I'm earning more than what some of the others (that I know) who got Degree or went to overseas for their studies. Yes, money or salary should not be the method to measure in this sense but if I'm not educated enough to learn what it takes in my IT line, then I wouldn't be getting that amount of salary before right?


* Throwing away their education

My feedback: Being a SAHM doesn't mean I'm throwing my education! In fact, I'm learning more things than ever! Cooking and making food for Ben, accounting for hubby's own business, etc etc...


* Not really working as they are not in a real paid job

My feedback: Oh? Says who? Does it mean that if you are in a REAL paid job, it means you are working? Does it mean that if you go to your office, sit there from 9 or 10 am until 5 or 6pm and gets your salary means you are really putting your ALL (as in heart and soul) into the job? For those of you who are having this perception, I'd like to invite you to do my work for a day. I'll PAY you and please let me know by the time you finish doing my SAHM not real-paid job if you're still sticking by this perception.


* Lucky to be wealthy to stay home

My feedback: Hey, I'm happy to even have a home to live in! Though I wish I was wealthy to begin with... than I don't have to wait until I get a baby to quit my job to be a SAHM! Being a SAHM means I have to give up my high paying job and stay home with my kid all the time! I hear this a lot from people around me. That we are wealthy and comfortable with 1 less income to the family. As if it doesn't hurt us at all for me to just quit my job anytime. I meantioned in my previous post that God is good, and He provides. Like what my previous pastor used to say, "God's will, God's bill!"


* Have the luxury of all this free time

My feedback: I wish... though friends and relatives might find me 'online' the whole day on Facebook and/or MSN, I'm mostly in and out and definitely not sitting in front of my computer the whole time. Whatever time I get to myself (always when Ben naps during daytime or when he goes to sleep at 10.30pm earliest) that's mostly the free time I get to myself. I don't even get to eat on time.. I might be having my breakfast at lunch time or having lunch at tea time... heck, it's good if I even get time to have any food!


* Not using their brains

My feedback: Unless you count having to think of what food to make, what activities to do with your toddler, etc etc as not using your brain, oh well, I'm not using my brain then... plus, I always blame my lack of intelligence is being caused by Ben suckling away all my brain cells through my breastmilk!


* Unproductive

My feedback: Uh? How much work do I have to do to be considered productive?


* Not using their gifts or talents

My feedback: I'd like to think my gifts or talents would be in my writing style but I'm not running for Ms. Malaysia or Mummy of the Year award, so what gifts or talents should I be displaying?

I love music, I listen to it almost whole day long and I'm glad Ben picks this up from me too (except for the super annoying repetitive Beatle's "I want to hold your hand" song), I'd love to see Ben picking up my passions in reading too one of this days!


* Not able to handle the many pressures that working mom’s encounter

My feedback: Oh believe me... I'd rather handle the multitasking part in my previous REAL PAID job than the ones as SAHM! I've been the acting IT head, database adminstrator, application adminstrator, web content developer, analyst programmer, project co-ordinator, application support, and many more (sometimes all at the same time) and all this cannot even be compare to what I'm facing in my daily life as a SAHM. My previous performance appraisals stated that I am very capable of multitasking and is a good person to depend on in critical situations.

But anyone who think we SAHM are not able to handle many pressures that working mom's encounter, please think again. Best still, try to get sick one day, and tell me whether you can rest at home or not. Some working moms I know who fell sick even wanted to leave their babies with their nanny or babysitter as they cannot handle taking care of the child while they are sick.


So please, don't think just because we are at home all the time, it means we are free / rich / got it easy / stupid / etc etc.

You have no idea what we are going through everyday.

Btw, if you are considering to be a SAHM, you can read my previous post in my old blog "Can You Afford to Stay Home?" on things to consider through and evaluate before deciding to be a SAHM.

Now, what other myths have you heard about SAHM?

Or what do you think of SAHM?