A mother has spoken of her disappointment at giving birth to her 15th daughter, after enduring 16 pregnancies in the hope of having sons.
Kanu Sangod, 40, from the remote Jharibhujhi village in Gujarat, India went through 14 pregnancies before finally conceiving her first boy, Vijay, two years ago. She got pregnant one last time as she wanted to give her son a brother but ended up adding another daughter to her brood, who is yet to be named.
Kanu, who has given birth naturally to all her children at home, had an arranged marriage to her husband Ramsinh, 45, 20 years ago. After their wedding, Kanu had her children at a rate of one a year. But it took 18 years before their much longed for son arrived.
'God has watched our pain. We have waited patiently for boys to fill our family,' Kanu said. 'I wanted to gift my son a brother so that they can support each other and take care of all their sisters, but it wasn’t meant to be. 'We were gifted another girl and now we have to accept that.’
Like the majority of Indian couples, they were desperate for sons when they started a family. Girls are widely regarded as a burden to traditional Indian families. Many fear the high costs of a wedding and resent spending money on education only for the girls to eventually leave home to marry. Some women are even forced to abort pregnancies when they believe they will deliver a girl, often under pressure from their husbands or in-laws who favour boys.
Kanu said: ‘Initially my husband was quite happy with the birth of our daughters, but after the fourth, he’d had enough and was always angry. 'He blamed me for only giving birth to girls, and once he threatened to marry again if I couldn’t give him a son. 'I didn’t want to let him down; I wanted to make him happy. I wanted a son too, so I just kept on getting pregnant.’
The pressures of raising such a large family have taken their toll on the Sangods. Two of their daughters died as babies due to illness. And Sanu sometimes couldn't afford to eat during her pregnancies because there were so many mouths to feed on the £2.50 a day Ramsinh earns as a farmer. But the desperate parents continued adding to their family, in order to have a son. They went from one temple to another to gain blessings that they hoped would make their dream come true.
Finally, in 2013, Kanu gave birth to a son and named him Vijay, which is Hindi for victory. ‘It was the best day of my life,' she said. 'For half an hour I couldn’t believe I actually had a son. 'I took him in my arms and hugged him and hugged him. He lay on my chest for hours. It was the most wonderful feeling. I had so much love for him.’
The birth of a son after 18 years of trying was certainly a big day for the couple and they celebrated with a feast with family and friends. ‘I organised a party for about 30 families to celebrate Vijay’s birth,' Raminsh recalled. 'His name seemed only natural because it was like a victory for us to be blessed with a son after battling for 18 long years.’
Ramsinh is adamant he loves his daughters: Sevanta,17, and Neeru, 15, Saranga, 14, Hansa, 13, Kinjal, 12, Ranjan, ten, Meena, nine, Payal, eight, Moni, seven, Joshna, five, Baigan, four, Hasina, three, and their new baby daughter. But he admits he wanted another son so that he has someone to care for him when he is old.
‘Girls are sweet and I really love my daughters,’ he said. ‘But I wanted to have a son. 'Our daughters will get married and move in with their husband and in-laws. Who will look after us?’ Indeed, his eldest daughters Sevanta and Neeru were married earlier this year and now live with their husbands.
Only the five youngest girls go to school, the rest have been forced to work in the fields and help run the home. Now the couple have finally decided to give up on their quest for sons. ‘We hail from a tribal community where abortion is forbidden,’ explained Ramsinh. ‘I’m happy to have a new child but I was greedy for a son and now I have a huge burden to raise my large family. 'It is really difficult to raise so many children on my salary and now I have another daughter to care for.
'I have to stop wishing for sons now and accept what we have. I will take my wife to be sterilised now.’