How to Identify 'Well-Meaning' People?

~ Posted on Wednesday, November 27, 2013 at 8:38 AM ~

As an individual, I would say I am pretty gullible and easy to trust others - especially when they are older and seems wise. I would say this pretty much applies to most topics except those that I'm passionate in, like matters relating to breastfeeding and perhaps blogging and doing product reviews.

Anyway, the other day, my hubby was telling me to be careful and be wise to discern the advice dispensed by other people especially when it comes to parenting and children topics. He said learn to identify whether these people truly care and wants to help and share their tips or they just want to boast and brag about their accomplishments.

To be honest, when hubby told me some of the things to look out for in order to identify 'well-meaning' people like this, I was gobsmacked. It kinda hit me because some time back, I was nodding and agreeing while looking at my kiddos as I listened to some of these 'well-meaning' people telling me that my kiddo is displaying rude manners and etc.

Yes, we should not give excuses for our children for their rude behaviour. But hubby's point was there are people who easily dispenses their thoughts and judgment based on a few minutes observation alone, and did not see the clear picture of why our boy acted that way.

Hubby said that people who truly care and really wants to help will try to understand the situation at home, how was our kiddos like at home, and then monitor and analyse from there onwards. Rather than just seeing what is going on in less than 5 minutes and immediately concluded that our kiddos are rude and misbehaved. He also said there are other 'well-meaning' people who instead of helping, they just want to brag about their kiddos' or their accomplishments.

In summary, again hubby said, we must not just listen totally and believed others opinions are right. We as parents should learn to identify these people and see for ourselves whether it is really as what other people observe.

What about you?

Do you know how to identify 'well-meaning' people and how do you handle people like this?

Our Experience with Jaundice in Our Children

~ Posted on Wednesday, November 20, 2013 at 8:31 AM ~

I thank God for the 3 wonderful children we are blessed with. I thank God that although they have jaundice, we know and have experience through 3 times and know what to do and how to handle the jaundice episode.

Please google around if you do not know what is jaundice. For Asian babies - especially us Chinese who have fair skin, the first thing to confirm that your child has jaundice is to look at the whites of his/her eyes. That's the first AND last place to see the bilirubin still in your child's body. Another method is to gently press your child's skin and the imprint left after you pressed will show you whether she/he has jaundice or not.

With our first child, Benjamin started having jaundice on day 5. Being a first-time parent, we don't know what to do and upon advice by the antenatal class trainer who did a post natal home visit for us, we sent Ben to his birth hospital for further check-up. The results showed he had high levels of bilirubin but due to the insufficient rooms/beds in the NICU unit, we stayed overnight at the peadictric ward. That night, Ben roomed in with me, his metal cot underneath the bili lights next to my bed. The moment he cried, I picked him up and sooth him and nursed him. 

It goes on and on that the next day, I was told to go back home and expressed my breastmilk instead and Ben was placed in the NICU unit as his bilirubin levels shot higher (due to me keep taking him out of the bili lights the night before) At home, I keep expressing every hour, as much as I can, just so we can packed as much breastmilk as possible to feed Ben while he was in NICU. His level dropped back to normal the next day and he was discharged and we came back home.

With our second child, Alyson started having jaundice on day 5 as well. But this time, we decided not to bring her to the hospital as she is nursing, sleeping, peeing, pooping as normal and active alert as well. Her prolonged jaundice lasted nearly 2 months. The mistakes we did with our second child is not having enough faith to believe that the jaundice is going to go off. We were not able to contact our pead for days (he was involved in an accident) and hence not able to consult his advice.

At my 6 weeks post partum check-up, my gynae said that we should get our child tested as she is still yellow. Results showed she had bacterias in her urine (I have no idea how the urine was collected) and we were given antibiotic for her to finish off in 5 days course. Few days later, we managed to get hold of our pead and brought our 2nd child to see him. He checked her and confirmed everything is fine, notihng wrong with her liver or anything and explained to us that urine test results can be easily compromised if the collection method is not thorough.

Meaning, if the hospital staff just collect the urine over the child's diaper then for sure there will be bacteria. The right method is to use a syringe/needle to suck out the urine from the bladder itself but this process will be painful for the child. Anyway, we did not finish the antibiotic after that. Coincidence or not, Alyson's jaundice went off a week after that.

With our third child, Carolyn started having jaundice on day 5 as well. This time the signs are all same as her sister. Nursing, sleeping, peeing, pooping all normal, active alert as well. So we decided to let it run its course. The annoying part of a prolonged jaundice is everytime I posted some pictures of Carolyn, there will be people commenting she is still yellow. Yes, we know that and as a parent of 3 kiddos, all whom had jaundice, we know well enough this is breastmilk jaundice and it will go away on its own, in its own time.

Look at the pictures of Carolyn below, how the yellow in her eyes and skin shows and slowly goes away week by week. I am happy to share that her jaundice is going off soon!


** Disclaimer: Do note that this post is my sharing of our experiences with jaundice in our 3 children, we do consult with the pead to confirm there is nothing wrong with our kiddos' liver or other factors such as blood incompatibility etc and most importantly is our kiddos were nursing (exclusive breastfeeding), sleeping, peeing, pooping, active and alert as usual so there was no cause of alarm for us.

That's all for now, thank you for reading this post of mine. Feel free to ask and share if you have questions or feedback!

What Is Impossible With Man is Possible With God

~ Posted on Monday, November 11, 2013 at 11:07 AM ~

I have previously written about our kiddos' final playgroup session for 2013. Just want to share that when we first started attending the playgroup sessions in September 2013, there are quite a number of parents and caretakers of the children there asking me which kindergarten Benjamin goes to. When I said none, they will asked why I did not send him yet or whether I will be looking for any soon and some kind-hearted ones will even start recommending me which kindergarten to ask around.

Later on, a mummy friend told me that the playgroup session we are attending is run by a church and they also run kindergarten as well. According to her, the kindy classes come in highly recommended by a lot of those playgroup mummies and told me to try asking whether there are any slots available for 2014 batch.

Why the kindy classes is highly recommended? There are only about 18 children in a class, they do 5 days a week classes of 3 hours every class, homework given during the school holidays and they instill a lot of Christian values to the children and they still have the fun element plus a bit of academic structure in their classes.

Few days later I went to inquire from the person in-charge and was told that the 2014 batch is full already and if I'm still interested, she will put us on waiting list for 2015 batch or if we don't mind, she will slot Benjamin in for the K4 class (which is for 6 years old). I felt sad seeing the gloomy outcome of having only 2015 to hope for!

When I got home with our kiddos, I told hubby what happened and he was upset that I did not register our kiddos even though we will be put on the waiting list. Hubby said, "At least by that time there is available slot, Alyson will be old enough to go to the class! And as for Benjamin, just because the lady said no more slots available until 2015, that doesn't mean you should just listen and give up. Even if there is slot for 6 years old and Ben is too young for the class, just register! At least few hours away from the house and he gets to make friends is better than nothing. Just register and leave it to God to handle this!'

And so the very next day, I brought our boy along to see the person in-charge again, and this time, registered both our kiddos' names in the waiting list. I told the person in-charge even though Ben might be too young, if there is any slots available even for the 6 years old class, just let him join. And so we waited.

2 months later, I received a call and it was from the kindy's person in-charge. She asked whether we are still keen to enrol Benjamin in the kindy class. I said YESSSSSSS!!! She said there is a boy who pulled out from next year's batch and so there is a slot available. I said thank you, we will take it and asked what age group will Ben be placed in. She said it is for K3 class which is meant for 5 years old. Perfect! Benjamin will turned 5 years old in March next year.

Oh my... God is really awesome! Truly awesome! And so I am reminded with this bible verse, Luke 18:27 (NIV) ~What is impossible with man is possible with God. Just because I was told there is no more slots available until 2015 and I think there is no more possibilities for us and our boy, God turned it around and shoved it at my face that yes, everything is possible through Him! Amen to that!

Thank you God for You truly knows what is best for us: Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) ~ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And when is the best time to reveal everything to us. Habakkuk 2:3 (NIV) ~ For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it[a] will certainly come and will not delay.

Now if you are wondering why we wanted our boy to go to classes when we have plans to teach him, well, like I mentioned above, hubby wanted our kiddos to mix around with other children, to make friends and to get away from the house for a few hours everyday so I can spend time to focus on our 2 younger kiddos. We also wanted Benjamin to be more sociable (unlike his super shy anti social mummy) and make more friends.

I plan to still teach Benjamin after he finishes his class (half day) and on the days when there are playgroup sessions, I can bring our girls along and be able to handle 2 kiddos instead of 3 which I have been worrying of earlier. So yes, God plans out everything for us nicely!!!

Looking forward for our Benjamin to start his classes in 2014! And what an awesome God we have!

**Personal notes: Apologies but due to my paranoia of privacy and security of myself, my family and my kiddos, I am not going to reveal what is the playgroup name, the kindergarten name, the area and so on. Apologies but like I said, I am really paranoid and with info like this being shown in public, I hope you can understand my reasons for doing so.