People’s lives have changed immeasurably over the course of the last 50 years. Modern day pressures can take their toll on relationships and leave you feeling as though you have nowhere to turn. While it is self-evident that the vast majority of us in the western world no longer experience the levels of poverty that our parents and grandparents did, there are now different burdens that can affect our home life. Just because we are financially better off than previous generations doesn’t mean that we are richer in every aspect of our lives.
Many of us now face a different type of financial worry, one of keeping up. The need to maintain our lifestyles by working longer and longer hours, often by both parents, can place an enormous strain on a relationship. Couple this with the physical stresses placed upon our bodies as we neglect our health by not doing enough exercise or getting enough sleep, and it is easy to see why our patience with each other can sometimes wear a little thin. What are we to do when our intolerance of each other reaches a point where a decision has to be made about our family’s future?
Although it may be stating the obvious, divorce is never an easy time for children, so even if you feel that you can no longer carry on as things are at the moment it is prudent to look at how your next step will affect your family. This, however, is where the subject becomes tricky. As with so many things in life, it really does come down to individual circumstances. Each relationship needs to be carefully judged on its own merits. Nobody is better equipped to make the right decision about your family’s future than you. So, while advice will no doubt be in abundance, it should always be your sole decision as to how you proceed.
Either staying together or getting a divorce can work out, there really is nothing set in stone to say that one is right and the other is wrong. There are many couples that have stayed together just for the sake of the kids that have gone on to rediscover their love for each other and have stayed married long after the children have left. Equally there are others that have gone their separate ways and got a divorce, only to re-marry a decade later. Many have found true happiness by making a fresh start without their other half; there are no hard and fast rules.
Your main focus should be the well-being of your children. They may be small, but children are not stupid. Even if you think you are hiding things well, we all have our built in instincts that have been finely tuned to pick up on the slightest hint of something not being quite right. So, make sure that your decision includes them and do what is right for your whole family, not just for you. They’ll thank you for it later.